2020

For the few of you that follow me or that come by on occasion to read my words, here we go.

We lost rock music legend Eddie Van Halen, singer/songwriter Johnny Nash, former Menudo singer Anthony Galindo Ibarra, New York Yankees pitcher Whitey Ford, actress Margaret Nolan, 2 1/2 Men actress Canchata Ferrell, actress Doreen Montalvo, film-maker James Redford, former Miss America Leanza Cornett, singer Nikki McKibbin, actor Eddie Hassell, Kobe Bryant, Regis Philbin and the legendary and amazingly handsome Sean Connery just days ago, just to name a few. We have endured (or are still enduring) the “flying snakes”, the gov’t “admitting” to the existence of UFOs and all the crap that goes with that, the idiotic toilet paper shortage, the pandemic of COVID-19, the most emotionally charged election I have ever seen in my short 47 years, the anxieties of isolation, home-schooling done by parents that have NO business teaching anything but “how NOT to” skits, the cancellation of just about every event we looked forward to, the requirement of face masks, the skyrocketing of Amazon and the addition of fake items to their website that they won’t refund our money for and a million other things it seems….

Needless to say, 2020 just plain sucks.

But there are other things, too. While many parents are having a hard time dealing with kids all day long, many are also learning just how much they were NOT involved in their lives, just how much they were missing…and while it was tough in the beginning, many families are closer now than they have ever been.

Domestic abuse is on the rise, so is divorce. Seems like the hits just keep coming huh.

I have had to stop looking at 2020 as 2020. For me, I have had to zoom in on my little corner of the world, my street, my home, my family. Backing up and looking at the big picture wasn’t doing me any favors. I’ve spent more time with Connor, and while he is a teen-ager and really wants to spend as little time as possible with Mom, we have had some good times during all this hell. I’m even teaching him how to drive.

I will be hunting this year to fill the freezer with hog and deer. In the spring I will put down another garden for veggies, I have fruit trees in the backyard, I used to have berry bushes in the front yard but I lost them last winter, nonetheless, my dream of a home surrounded by food is SLOWLY coming to life. Yes, I have a ways to go, but I am making progress, that’s what matters in my little world.

I have lost friends and loved ones to COVID, deployment, age, cancer, accidents and a handful of other things, and it hurts, but I have to be so grateful those people were part of my life, part of making me who I am. Even if I had known I would lose them so soon, I wouldn’t change them being a part of my life for anything.

There are days when I have to FORCE myself to walk outside, to get out of the house for something other than work. I tend to be a bit of an introvert and it is way too easy for me to get comfy in my little world and just not do anything but go to work and go home.

I have my own ups and downs, as does my son, but we will get through it. I can’t worry about the rest of the world right now. I have to worry about my family. Self-care, taking care of my son, talking to my dad and his girlfriend, making sure we can all laugh at SOMETHING a couple of times a week. That has become so much more important now. My dad is wonderful, he talks to me every time I call, I know he gets tired of talking to me, but he puts up with it. We laugh, cry, swap videos, recommend books and movies to each other and a hundred other things via phone. I miss him and can’t wait for he and his super cool girlfriend to move out here.

Take this time to call a family member you haven’t spoken to in a while. Doesn’t matter how long. They WANT to hear from you, they WANT to hear your voice, they WANT to listen and be listened to. Don’t let anyone close to you lose their connection to humanity. A five minute phone-call could make more difference than you will ever know. When you are out and about, take in what’s around you. Speak to people. It’s ok. We all need some communication and connection. Humans are social animals, whether we want to be or not.

I can’t fix the world, but I can put a little more tape and glue and twine on my own little piece of it. If everyone does a little fixing of their own little world every week, we CAN get through this.

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